I'm not afraid anymore
by FlameHaze
Summary: Seeing the person you love die over and over again hurts doesn't it? She doesn't understand. So that's why I'll save her. I can right?...FINISHED
1. Afraid?

I'm not afraid anymore

(YURI WARNING)

It hurts, you know. You wouldn't understand having to see the only person who you've ever love die so many times over and over. I couldn't protect her. So that's why…  
>That's why I go on this time cycle so many times over. Because I love her; I would never…I would never let her make that contract; Even if I had to sacrifice myself for her.<p>

I watched her from afar talking to Kyuubey. It hurts. I want to run to her and hold her tight; I wouldn't let anyone else do that. It was another hurtful day, like any other. Madoka walked around and talked to her best friend Sayaka, the only person she seemed close to. I was so jealous; so full of hate. I keep these feelings inside me bottled up. "Do you want to go to the CD store near the station again Madoka?" The blue haired girl smiled big as usual. "Of course I always love going there with you?" The pink haired girl smiled big like she always does. This would be the first step. The first step to her death all over again.

A sudden explosion; just like last time. I came in and saved Madoka. She screamed and told me to let go of her, to leave her alone. She knew nothing. After letting her down she ran home. "Your so creepy!" Sayaka yelled at me. I am creepy. I'm in love with a girl when I'm already female, there's something weird about that isn't there? I didn't plan this out, I just wanted to save her but she's done so much for me but she has no idea. "You'll thank me later." I ran. After I got home I flopped myself onto my bed. I cried. I cried for hours. Am I just too over emotional? Questions spiraled through my thoughts. I'll save her this time. I will.

I went back outside where I watched Kyouko fight. She's my only friend around here, since everyone else is suspicious of me. Her past was much worse than mine, she had it worse than me. I saw her spinning a grief seed around. "Bored again aren't you?" She took a bite out of an apple she was holding. "You know that blue haired one? She's probably going to become a magical girl isn't she?" Kyouko guessed right. "She might." I already knew the answer though. "You know there's something mysterious about you. I mean I've known you for awhile but you're a weird one. What was your wish?" She looked at me seriously. "I…" This hadn't happened in any of the other time loops. For the first time, I didn't know if I should tell her the truth or just put on my mysterious act. I decided. "I wished for time travel."

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><p>Hi everyone! It's been a SUPER long time since I've written a fanfic (Like two years!) I'm alive! I will not continue my other fanfics unless there is demand for it (which I'm not expecting) This story will be pretty short (about each this long and like 5 chapters unless my brain goes crazy and I decide to make it longer) Please review if you want to, I LOVE hearing feedback!<p> 


	2. Being Brave

I'm not afraid anymore

(YURI WARNING)

She stared at me as if I was about to get my head torn off…"Have…You used that power before…?" She could barely get those words out of her mouth, her apple dropped into the dirt. "I'm sorry…I'm not from this time line." The words were hard to get out; it burned my chest as I held back the tears. "Am I the only one who knows this?" Kyouko attempted to calm herself but she was clearly shaking. "Yes…I'm…Trying to save Madoka…" As soon as I knew it, I was staring at the apple in the dirt. "Does…She not make it? What about the others? What…About me?" She looked the other way. "She's died…Ten times already. Mami..She's already dead as of tonight and Sayaka turned into a magical girl just a few minutes ago... And you…You've only died once so far." I sighed deeply. Why am I letting my secrets out right now? "I see…Sayaka….She wished for that boy to be better didn't she? I'm so jealous…" Kyouko kicked her apple back and forth. She never mentioned herself that night. She ran away after finding about Sayaka.

I went to school late the next day. I could care less; I mean I've seen everything already before…But after messing with the time loop and talking to Kyouko things weren't right. Small things like different people walking in the hallway but it didn't worry me. I walked up to Madoka; expecting her to run away but she didn't. "I'm sorry for the other day." I tried not to look into her eyes; I knew that scared her. "Oh…It's fine. I should be sorry. You saved me and I was so rude. I should be apologizing to you!" She smiled a bit. "I…." Complete shock. That's all I can explain. She's never said more that "Um" or "Please go away" in every single time loop. What's going on? "I'm…Sorry I've been so strange to you. I don't mean any harm…Can I talk to you more like this…?" I tried to keep my cool, like breaking out a creepy smile would not help me in a situation like this. "Sure! I should make up being so rude to you anyway." She looked at me, into my eyes. She wasn't scared of me anymore. I could cry my eyes out right now; I'm so happy. I didn't hold myself back; I hugged her tightly and whispered in her ear "Can I talk to you about something after school then?"

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><p>Thank you guys SO much for the reviews! I don't know why but I was shaking in from being so nervous I didn't know if people would like this or not but I only received positive feedback! I'm sorry if this chapter isn't as emotional as the last one, I was really trying to make it perfect last time but I really hope you enjoyed this chapter!<p> 


	3. Love

I'm not afraid anymore

(Yuri warning)

Every minute seemed like hours. I waited on the roof of the school where we were supposed to meet. I came early so I could think…I didn't have anything to say to her, never did the thought come of calling her here so I had nothing to say. It sounds stupid doesn't it? I call someone to meet with me to talk about something, but I don't know that "something" yet. I don't think suddenly confessing to her would be the right approach, and I wasn't ready to go into what I told Kyouko. But….Then what do I say? Do I have to choose between those two choices or should I bring something else up, but what? Crap, she's here. What do I do? I'm so stupid, shaking and not knowing what to do.

"What did you want to talk about?" Madoka smilled and sat down next to me, it was like a dream. "Well…I didn't really think about that…" I looked down flustered; I could hear her giggle a bit. "You know. At first you seemed a little scary but I've really changed my mind. You're a really interesting person Homura!" I looked up to see her beautiful smile. "But..I'm a magical girl and…And…" I started to tear up. Not in front of her.. I don't want her to see my weakness. "What's wrong? You can tell me anything! You're my friend Homura!" She still smiled. "Friend? You want to be my friend? I looked at her in disbelief. "Of course I want to be your friend! Magical girl or not, your still a human!" She brushed some of the hair out of my red face. "I'm not human, magical girls aren't human! I'm a terrible person… I have so much I haven't told anyone…" My tears fell again. "You can tell me these things! It's ok to let them out, I won't tell anyone."

She pulled me into a side hug. "Then...I'm well…I'm not from this time period." I tried to look her into her eyes. She sat there staring for a minute. "Was that your wish to become a magical girl?" She asked with no fear in her voice. "Yes…That's why I've tried to keep you away from Kyubey..He's evil. I've seen countless friends die because of him.." I wiped away my tears, but a few still fell slowly. "I'm so sorry Homura… I wish I could do something for you.." She looked into my eyes again. She had no idea that she could do so much for me, it would mean the world to me if she didn't become a magical girl, to love me back. I could tell her the first part but never the second part. "Please don't become a magical girl…Please…" I hugged her tightly, not wanting to let go. I was so afraid she would disappear after that and I wouldn't be able to see her again. "I won't become a magical girl" She told me, I trusted in those words. "Are you sure?" I clung to her tighter. "I'm sure." She had confidence in her voice. "Then can I tell you something…I wasn't planning to but I want to tell you this…" I let go of her and looked at her. "What do you want to tell me?" She looked at me seriously. "I love you Madoka."

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><p>I really like how this chapter turned out! I was attempting to submit it yesterday but due to a 7 page paper that needs to be finished eventually, I spent yesterday typing that out instead! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Also sorry for repeating myself every chapter but thank you guys for the reviews! It really keeps me going when I'm writing this!<p> 


	4. Many Emotions

"...Love?" She turned the color of her hair. "Yes...I'm sorry if I've grossed you out or anything...I didn't know this would happen it just did..." I turned as red as a tomato, I looked away from her. "I...Don't know what to say..I mean I'm flattered really!" She turned into a darker shade of pink. "You don't have to give me an awnser today. I'll wait as long as you want for a reply, I won't rush you." I got the courage to look into her eyes again. "Homura...I'll think about it. I really will." She smiled and ran away. Did I say the wrong thing at the wrong time?...

"You know wasting food is you know...A waste" The red head pointed to the apple laying on the floor, the blue hair girl scrambled to pick up the apple. "I'm sorry!" Sayaka violently took a bite out of the apple. "Whatever just don't do it again." Kyouko's eyes lit up. "Hey Sayaka...Want to go to the arcade or something with me? I'm getting bored." Kyouko grabbed Sayaka's hand quickly and held it. "W-What are you doing?" She almost forgot to breathe. "I don't want to loose you in this big crowd!" Kyouko snickered. "Kyouko...There isn't a crowd at all." Sayaka sighed. "Well I feel sweaty around you as if there was a crowd I guess..." The red head tried to hide her face in her hair. Sayaka giggled a little and never let go of Kyouko's hand

I couldn't figure out my thoughts... What just happened? I just confessed my love to her, why was I so careless? Is it because I've done this over and over? Resetting time...I could reset this. It's like a video game; I could just turn it off and turn it back on without saving. Things would be lost but could be redone in a different level. Or I could choose to save and accept the fate that would happen? I breathed in and out slowly. Just wait for her reply and accept it Homura… Just accept if she doesn't love you back... But What if she does love me back? My ultimate happiness; what I've wanted for all this time. It's all I want. I left the roof and went home; I knew I would have to wait for an answer for a long time. I waited for a few days, still nothing. I knew this might be the time where I should just go back and try again, but there was always that feeling of that I shouldn't? But why should I care? I was on the roof again and I took out my sword, I looked and it and started to reach for the timer, which would end my time here. "Wait don't do it!" The cry of the one I love was behind me. I looked behind me and Madoka was there breathing hard. I put my shield away. "I'm sorry I wasn't feeling conf-" She kissed me. My mind couldn't process anything anymore. After she finished kissing me I fell to the floor, loosing all strength in my legs. Emotion filled me. So much I couldn't explain. I hugged her and cried into her arms. I didn't know what else to do.

_My feelings finally reached her._

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><p>Thank you everyone so much for the support! I never knew I would get so many hits and reviews! I'm sorry for the late release of this chapter school is really getting crazy! I'm hoping to get the last chapter (you heard me right last chapter!) (Well actually unless I decide to make this longer because I kind of want to) around in 3-4 days (week at max if my 7 page paper explodes and has babies) Thank you again for the reviews and support I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did!~<p> 


	5. Our Happy Ending

Well forgetting your password is suffering if you know what I mean! xD I loved writing this story though I've never really tried writing a yuri story. I mean I'm a girl so it's a little weird hiding this on the deep depths of my computer! This is the last chapter I will write of this sorry for such the long wait I hope you guys are well and alive! I attended AX 2012 as Madoka Ante Up version so if you were there I hope you saw me wandering around!

I had a good dream last night; the one I love finally showed she loved me back. Wait…That was reality wasn't it?! I woke up and quickly checked my phone

which displayed this: _Hey Homura good morning! ^.^ I almost tripped down the stairs AGAIN! Shows I'm not a morning person lol! I'll see you at school love you! _My

heart fluttered. "MADODODODODODO!~" I quickly got changed and practicly skipped to school, I mean I have an hour to burn anyway! I hummed and took my

time arriving to school, which made me late! Who knew skipping and humming magical girl theme songs could take 3 hours! "You're late Miss Akemi! For the

third day in a row actually find your seat now!" She yelled at me in front of the class. "I'm sorry teacher I won't do it again!~" I found my seat and happily sat

down; everyone had blank stares on their faces. Who hasn't heard of change anyway? I'm a new Homura Akemi starting today and no one is going to stop

that! I turned around and smiled at Madoka, who looked like she witnessed a deer driving a semi truck on a populated freeway. Of course that look didn't

matter to me, can't I just grab her and hold her tight during class?!

After class I thought of going straight to Madoka's desk but I acted casually… Casually cool like those young ones say. I sat acting like I wasn't expecting

something (in reality about ready to go tsundere) and waited for her. A few minutes passed and I looked behind me to see she her sitting waiting for me

instead. Ohoho so that's how she wants me to play! I got up and put my hands in my pockets (which didn't even exist) and slammed my hand on her desk.

"You know..Wanna walk home with me?" I looked at the ceiling and chewed gum with my mouth wide open. "Homura…I've never seen you act like this before."

She looked a little worried. "Oh me? This is the normal me!" I swiped some glasses out of no where and put them on my face. While I did that Madoka had

made a run for it and disappeared. "W-Where?!"

(Madoka's POV)

I found Sayaka as soon as I could. "Hey Sayaka do you know anyone who knows Homura well?" I asked quickly. "Oh…I think Kyoko might know her, atleast

more than me." She looked in thought for a few minutes. I wasn't sure who Kyoko was but if she could help Homura then that would really help! "Can you take

her to me?" I asked. "Sure!" Sayaka smiled. "Ok give me a minute!" I ran back to the classroom where Homura was still standing awkwardly. "Hey Homura

want to…Walk home with me and Sayaka?" I asked. "S-S-Sure!" Her face lite up. I grabbed her hand and took her to where Sayaka was, Homura shyly looked

at the ground and started to turn red. 'She's kinda cute this way…' I thought. "Ok Sayaka lead the way!" We ran there as fast as we could, Homura had no

idea what we were doing though of course!

"Kyoko this girl right here is about to die of a terrible desease" I shouted and waved my arms around "What do you mean?" She took a bite out of an

apple. "I mean there's something w-" "LOVE SICKNESS~~" Homura's lips went flying towards me "N-N-N-Not here!" I hid behind Kyoko. "Well I don't care after

all me and Sayaka make out all the t-" "I've never kissed you before!" Sayaka was Madoka hair pink. "Well it doesn't hurt to try!" "Not here!" I escaped with

Homura before I could witness their first kiss. "Homura what's wrong with you?" I asked her slightly seriously. "I just…Love you I guess.." She looked at the

floor. "Well.. I love you too." I told her with a smile. "Let's go home?"

~ _Maybe she's a little too cute like this. ~_

_THE END_


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